The Trees and The Wild - Empati Tamako at ARTE 2013 by @satrior
When love arrives say, welcome
Make yourself comfortable
If love leaves,
Ask her to leave the door open behind her
Turn off the music, listen to the quiet
Thank you, for stopping by..
"When Love Arrives"
by Sarah Kay and Phil Kaye
If you grow up the type of woman men want to look at
you can let them look at you.
But do not mistake eyes for hands
or windows or mirrors.
Let them see what a woman looks like.
They may have not ever seen one before.
If you grow up the type of woman men want to touch
you can let them touch you.
Sometimes, it is not you they are reaching for.
Sometimes it is a bottle, a door, a sandwich
a pole dancer—another woman.
But their hands found you first.
Do not mistake yourself for a guardian or a muse
or a promise
or a victim
or a snack.
You are a woman—skin and bones
veins and nerves, hair and sweat
you are not made out of metaphors
not apologies, not excuses.
If you grow up the type of woman men want to hold
you can let them hold you.
All day they practice keeping their bodies upright
even after all this evolving it still feels unnatural.
Still strains the muscles, hold firms the arms and spine.
Only some men will want to learn what it feels like
to curl themselves into a question mark around you,
admit they do not have the answers they thought they would by now.
Some men will want to hold you like the answer.
You are not the answer.
You are not the problem.
You are not the poem or the punch-line
or the riddle
or the joke.
Woman, if you grow up the type men want to love
you can let them love you.
Being loved is not the same thing as loving.
When you fall in love, it is discovering the ocean
after years of puddle jumping.
It is realizing you have hands.
It is reaching for the tightrope when the crowds have all gone home.
Do not spend time wondering if you are the type of women men will hurt.
If he leaves you with the car alarm heart
you learn to sing along.
It is hard to stop loving the ocean
even after it has left you gasping—salty.
So forgive yourself for the decisions you’ve made.
The ones you still call mistakes when you tuck them in at night and know this:
Know you are the type of woman who is searching for a place to call yours.
Let the statues crumble.
You have always been the place.
You are a woman who can build it yourself.
You are born to build.
The Type by Sarah Kay
So today, I had my counseling session with my psychologist and luckily I got another insight as always.
This is about me- and di-. Which means giving (me-) and receiving (di-). She reminded me of the things I frequently heard but also forgot. So approximately here is what she convey to me…
To completely and truly me- we have to me- ourselves first, completely, too. Because one can completely me- others only if they had had full of themselves.
Here’s the logic, an empty glass and/or a half full glass cannot truly fill another glass. Because it has not even full yet. Yes, a half full glass can still fill another glass. But, can you imagine of what happens to the glass? The glass loses part of itself. If the glass were human, it might be like hurt itself.
That’s why an appeal always says “help yourself first before you help others” and I think it is equal to “love yourself first before you can truly love others”.
In the mean time to me- yourself, don’t forget to let yourself being di-. Because it’s also the process of fulfilling the glass. Yet again, choose wisely what kind of di- that you deserve to receive.
Good luck, everyone! :)
Kepada Pak Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono, yang masih saya hormati.
Sebenarnya saya tahu, mungkin sia-sia saya menuliskan keluhan saya ini apalagi hanya di laman pribadi milik saya, dan saya pun tahu bapak terlalu sibuk dengan segala kegiatan bapak hingga tidak mungkin sempat membacanya. Tapi ini…